Teach Kids To Be Thankful By Making A Gratitude Tree Every Year
Meta: Parents and caregivers can teach children of all ages to be thankful by making a gratitude tree in their homes, yards, or communities each year.
All too often, social media feeds and news outlets feature stories about children throwing temper tantrums. Usually, those temper tantrums are from children not getting what they want.
They tend to occur because children rarely hear the word “no” and they expect that their parents will give them everything they want. When life throws them a curveball in the form of “no,” tempers flare.
No one likes to hear the word no, but when it comes to teaching children proper behaviors, instead of teaching them to want, parents should teach their children about being grateful. And, gratitude goes beyond showing manners and saying thank you.
Four Stages of Gratitude
Teaching gratitude is not difficult. Psychologists have recognized that there are four simple steps that parents can use to help their children understand what gratitude is and how to express it. The actions include
- Noticing what we are grateful for
- Thinking about how we received those things
- Feeling emotions about what has been given to us
- Showing appreciation for them
These four steps can become natural for children as they get older, but parents need to remind their children about noticing, thinking, feeling, and showing.
Usually, young children are comfortable showing appreciation because it is easy to say thank you for receiving something, but they do not fully understand the other aspects of gratitude. If they are not taught those aspects, they will not learn.
Questions to Help Children Better Understand Gratitude
To better help children understand these four stages of gratitude, parents should talk to their children. They can ask different questions to get children to think about themselves and those around them. It’s an excellent way to generate awareness.
As parents ask these questions, children will begin to recognize that showing gratitude is has better results than throwing a temper tantrum. Parents can share these questions with their children when talking about gratitude:
- Notice the gifts you received. Is there something other than the actual present that makes you feel grateful?
- Think about the gift you received. Do you owe the giver something? Was the gift something the giver had to give you?
- Consider your feelings. How do you feel after receiving the gift? What is it about the gift that makes you feel this way?
Along with asking questions and talking about gratitude, there are several other ways to teach this behavior. One of the most enjoyable for parents and children is to build a gratitude tree. It is a tree that you make in your home so that you can remember all of the things that you are grateful for each year.
Making the Tree Out of Twigs
Families can make a gratitude tree out of a living tree, twigs from a tree, or anything that resembles a tree. If you are using twigs, you put them in a heavy vase loaded with little stones to make the tree sturdy. You will be putting leaves on the tree, so it will have to be able to carry some weight.
If you are using real twigs, you can teach your children to be grateful to nature by only taking twigs that have fallen on the ground. We do not want to take twigs or branches from a tree that is living and growing. As you walk around looking for twigs, take time to talk about all that nature offers us and how it asks for nothing in return.
The other materials you will need are for the leaves. Since you and your children will be writing on them, it is helpful to make them out of paper or a sturdier material like foam board. Even paper plates would work for this project.
You will also need scissors, a hole punch, string, and a permanent marker. The scissors are to cut leaves out of the material you choose and to cut the string to put through the hole. When you cut the leaves, make sure that you leave room to write what you are grateful for and any noticings, thoughts, and emotions you may have.
Children could even color pictures if they are too young to write. Studies show that benefit from drawing the things they are grateful for, and despite their young ages, they understand gratitude. If parents do have their children draw, they should ask their children to talk about their drawings, too.
Once the leaves have their messages of gratitude, it’s time to prep them to go on the tree. With the hole punch, punch a single hole in each leaf. The string should be a few inches long, just long enough to hang from the twigs that make up the tree branches.
Tips for Success When Making the Tree
If you are keeping the tree for the entire year, you might not want to put leaves on it every single day. You might want to set a day each week or each month that you spend some time focusing on gratitude. Picking a gratitude day will prevent your children from getting tired of the tree, and it will keep you from having to put hundreds of leaves on the tree.
If you are not especially crafty and the idea of cutting out individual leaves for an entire year sounds like a nightmare, you can look for precut leaves at teacher stores or craft stores. If you plan ahead and buy them when fall items go on sale, you can save money on precut craft leaves.
Options for Making a Wall-size Gratitude Tree
A gratitude tree could be kept on a short-term basis or the entire year. If you are going to make one for the year, a big paper tree on a blank wall could be a fun way to be grateful all year.
Instead of using real twigs and paper, you can start with a large tree trunk with branches that you tape to the wall. Throughout the year, you add paper leaves to the tree. By the time the year is over, your children’s gratitude leaves should cover the tree.
If you prefer something that requires less paper, there is another possibility for a wall-size gratitude tree.
To accomplish this tree, you will need to paint one of your walls with chalkboard paint. This will give you a large space to draw the big tree trunk and branches out of chalk. You will still want to use paper or some other type of material for the leaves because they are longer lasting than chalk.
If you plan to keep the tree for an entire year, take pictures of it at the end of every month. Then, you can build an album of the changes that the tree went through during the year. At the end of the year, take the final photo, then erase the tree and let a different family member draw the new one on the wall.
Planting a Gratitude Tree
Another idea that is not only good for teaching your children about gratitude, but it is also good for the environment is to plant a real tree in your yard. Your family could plant a gratitude tree each year.
The gratitude leaves can be made out of waterproof paper (yes, that really does exist). Or, your family could write their messages about gratitude on rocks, then place them around the new tree. When the year is over, you can put the rocks in a display case or places around your home.
Learning about gratitude will make children happier and healthier. According to a study about children and gratitude, researchers found that people who look at the world through the lens of gratitude have less stress and more positivity in their lives when compared to people who do not practice gratitude.
Learning About and Sharing Gratitude
As children learn more about how gratitude manifests its way into their lives, they might want to share their ideas about gratitude with other people. Gratitude trees do not need to be kept in private homes or yards; smaller versions of them can be placed in public areas with leaves that people can take.
For example, many public libraries have public bulletin boards where a small tree could be stapled up. Children could write general messages about gratitude and let people take them as they desire. It might be fun for children to do this around Thanksgiving or other special times of the year.
Depending on the ages of your children, they could even create a gratitude tree at school. Of course, it would have to be coordinated with an administrator or teacher. Classmates could add their leaves, or your child could create the leaves so other children could take them. If one child shows interest in gratitude, other children will see it and develop an interest in it.